For my own sanity I think it’s a good idea to do a little bit of a recap this first half of the year. I’ve been feeling pretty out of it and dealing mainly with trying to get my anxiety derailed life back on the tracks. Before getting it I never thought that it was such a huge ordeal. Maybe because people that I know that had it either never spoke about it or if they did I couldn’t wrap my head around how serious it was? I very clearly get it now and I can’t stop talking about the damn thing! I feel at time like I ask everyone I know about it, and if they happen to have it I want to know in detail how it effects them and how they go about dealing with it.
As for myself I was under the impression that I was getting a grasp on it… but I was wrong. Once I found out that my dad had come down with a pretty serious illness it started back up again. Increased heart rate, claustrophobia, hot flashes, shallow breathing, difficulty focusing, etc. So for the sake of not being consumed by it I am trying some medication and hoping it works out. I will update on it as soon as enough time passes to know whether or not my alternative method is going to work for me or not.
I’ve also been looking for ways to distract myself from the confines of my anxious mind. Mountain biking and photography seem to do the trick a little bit better than most other things. They’re probably the two things in my life that have suffered the least due to my anxiety. They actually are quite relaxing. It’s funny how I have trouble focusing at times but coming down the mountain bike trails from the top of the mountain as fast as I can doesn’t seem to bother me. Maybe it’s because I don’t have time to let any other thoughts enter my mind other than railing turns and not flying off the trail and smashing my grill into a tree? Whatever the reason might be I am glad for it, for as of right now it is a great stress relief. Due to my anxiety I’ve been questioning a lot of my normal outlets and things in my life. Can’t wait until I get past this and deal with whatever is causing it. For now I will keep on riding my bikes every chance I get and do what is right for me and my mental well being. My trips to California, photo shoot giveaways, media production, bike rides, portrait sessions and getting out and meeting new people will continue to show me how awesome the people in the world are. If I can learn one thing from everyone and hopefully teach people one thing in return that is good enough for me. I will update on how my alternative anxiety curing method goes in the near future. For the time being here are some images that I have gathered over the past 6 months. 🙂